Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Wanna See my van?
Life has so many ups and downs, joys and sorrows, praises and discouragement...It's awesome to be able to encourage each other in our everyday lives and struggles, but I'd like to take a 'Kurtis' approach and take light in some humor on my blog for once. So I've decided to take some time away from all these serious blogs.. Raise your hands in the air and scream "Its time for some fun!!!" ...Did you do it? .. . did you now? If you did after that, 100 points for you! If not.. you uh... probably need to go ahead and do it.. c'mon.. it'll be fun... don't be a mr./mrs. grumpy pants... You need to give me some space with this post to let loose a little.. to get a little stupid, persay... seriousness is great, but it's time to switch things up...*AHEM*
...So we got this new van at work... o yea baby... but .... this isn't your ordinary van.. in fact.. this van is dead sexy! Don’t worry Nicole, there IS door locks, no bed, no video camera, and nothing scary about this thing. There's even no children in site! It's a delivery van, so EvErYoNe calm your hormones if you thought I was going to be sick about this thing - do I look like a threat to you??? This van is every soccer mom's dreams, only now, dreams are a reality!! Allow me to explain in the voice of a tv announcer...like the dude on the price is right.. not Bob.. the other guy that explains merch for em...
Irresistible! with it's astonishing white color, big, sexy boxy look, a diesel 5 cylinder engine, spaceous room, and hey, I can almost stand up in this thing! Notice the high roof on this van... that's just the stock model... you can even HIGHER roof if you suffer from Gi-normous height deficiency.. oh sorry, what? What's Gi-normous height deficiency? How rude of me... It's a new theory.... that it isn't the short people in this world that suffer, but really the tall (gi-normous) people who have the problem. .. did you know tall people don't live as long as short people? Oh.. what's that? Hot death for all of them? Yea.. that's what I thought ...The phrase 'vertically challenged' has now taken a shift.. being taller is now the true challenged.. sorry Scott...shortness is where its at, it's a true story! (besides the fact that Jesus made them too..in all reality...but I'm sure he favors the smaller ones more.... ouch...). Anyways, back to the van...when people see this van..they laugh, and it must be because it's incredibly good looking and makes anyone look fabulously gorgeous while they drive it.
You HAVE to see this thing, it's fantastic! It's super safe.. in fact.. so safe, you don't have a rear view mirror or rear view windows, even. Come to think of it, there isn't any windows in the back at all! Who needs to see behind you anyway? Safety is over rated. That's what a loud, obnoxious beeper is for. So everyone can look at me, point and laugh while I back up, hoping that I'm going to hit something. They laugh but when they realize it's their vehicle I'm purposely about to hit, it's funny to see their faces switch from laughter to anger in a matter of half a second ..nevertheless... I feel fat when I'm backing up... If that beeper could speak english, it would be screaming something like 'HEY EVERYONE! LOOK AT THE IDIOT WHO DECIDED TO DRIVE IN THE LOSER CRUISER!' I swear that's not a 'warning' when I'm backing up, but more of the type of alarm that you could relate a grade 7 girl who bathes in perfume... same concept here... they both scream for attention...
Gentlemen...this van is the shiz... if you're the player type, all you need to do is hop in this thing, drive around, and start stealin other guys' girlfriends. In fact, even the guys think its so cool, they willfully give them up! All you need to do is simply just drive around smilin at em'. Hook, line and sinker!
I've taken some pictures of it and myself inside, for your thorough enjoyment. Careful though.. this thing is as captivating as cake is to Nicole...you might want to have a tissue nearby so you can catch the drool coming out of your mouth... (not from me.. from the van) I just added myself to spice it up abit.. every vehicle needs a model right? I just refused to wear scantily clad clothing... I figured g-string bikini's just cramp my style...
This is a tribute... let us have a toast..to the sexiest, greatest van Dodge ever made... that being said, excuse me while I remove myself from the computer to go drown myself in a urine filled toilet... I bet the designer won't show himself in public places anymore due to various slurs and criticism. Poor guy... How would you wanna go crusin’ in that thing for a night? In all seriousness.. I stood inside Comco with another guy that works here and we probably laughed at it for 5-10 minutes.. I kid you not.. It was worth every second.
But truthfully, in all honesty, I'm thankful.. because I get blessed to drive a brand new vehicle that I didn't pay for or ask for. Even if it isn't the best lookin thing you've ever seen, it's brand new.. 400 km on it... So I'm still blessed!!
...So we got this new van at work... o yea baby... but .... this isn't your ordinary van.. in fact.. this van is dead sexy! Don’t worry Nicole, there IS door locks, no bed, no video camera, and nothing scary about this thing. There's even no children in site! It's a delivery van, so EvErYoNe calm your hormones if you thought I was going to be sick about this thing - do I look like a threat to you??? This van is every soccer mom's dreams, only now, dreams are a reality!! Allow me to explain in the voice of a tv announcer...like the dude on the price is right.. not Bob.. the other guy that explains merch for em...
Irresistible! with it's astonishing white color, big, sexy boxy look, a diesel 5 cylinder engine, spaceous room, and hey, I can almost stand up in this thing! Notice the high roof on this van... that's just the stock model... you can even HIGHER roof if you suffer from Gi-normous height deficiency.. oh sorry, what? What's Gi-normous height deficiency? How rude of me... It's a new theory.... that it isn't the short people in this world that suffer, but really the tall (gi-normous) people who have the problem. .. did you know tall people don't live as long as short people? Oh.. what's that? Hot death for all of them? Yea.. that's what I thought ...The phrase 'vertically challenged' has now taken a shift.. being taller is now the true challenged.. sorry Scott...shortness is where its at, it's a true story! (besides the fact that Jesus made them too..in all reality...but I'm sure he favors the smaller ones more.... ouch...). Anyways, back to the van...when people see this van..they laugh, and it must be because it's incredibly good looking and makes anyone look fabulously gorgeous while they drive it.
You HAVE to see this thing, it's fantastic! It's super safe.. in fact.. so safe, you don't have a rear view mirror or rear view windows, even. Come to think of it, there isn't any windows in the back at all! Who needs to see behind you anyway? Safety is over rated. That's what a loud, obnoxious beeper is for. So everyone can look at me, point and laugh while I back up, hoping that I'm going to hit something. They laugh but when they realize it's their vehicle I'm purposely about to hit, it's funny to see their faces switch from laughter to anger in a matter of half a second ..nevertheless... I feel fat when I'm backing up... If that beeper could speak english, it would be screaming something like 'HEY EVERYONE! LOOK AT THE IDIOT WHO DECIDED TO DRIVE IN THE LOSER CRUISER!' I swear that's not a 'warning' when I'm backing up, but more of the type of alarm that you could relate a grade 7 girl who bathes in perfume... same concept here... they both scream for attention...
Gentlemen...this van is the shiz... if you're the player type, all you need to do is hop in this thing, drive around, and start stealin other guys' girlfriends. In fact, even the guys think its so cool, they willfully give them up! All you need to do is simply just drive around smilin at em'. Hook, line and sinker!
I've taken some pictures of it and myself inside, for your thorough enjoyment. Careful though.. this thing is as captivating as cake is to Nicole...you might want to have a tissue nearby so you can catch the drool coming out of your mouth... (not from me.. from the van) I just added myself to spice it up abit.. every vehicle needs a model right? I just refused to wear scantily clad clothing... I figured g-string bikini's just cramp my style...
This is a tribute... let us have a toast..to the sexiest, greatest van Dodge ever made... that being said, excuse me while I remove myself from the computer to go drown myself in a urine filled toilet... I bet the designer won't show himself in public places anymore due to various slurs and criticism. Poor guy... How would you wanna go crusin’ in that thing for a night? In all seriousness.. I stood inside Comco with another guy that works here and we probably laughed at it for 5-10 minutes.. I kid you not.. It was worth every second.
But truthfully, in all honesty, I'm thankful.. because I get blessed to drive a brand new vehicle that I didn't pay for or ask for. Even if it isn't the best lookin thing you've ever seen, it's brand new.. 400 km on it... So I'm still blessed!!
// posted by JP @ 8:22 a.m. 
Comments:
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Yeah, I guess its a nice van, but it doesn't hold a canlde to the original vanimal!!!!!!
Let me introduce you to the beauty and functionality of the 1993 Extended Ford Aerostar Eddie Bauer
Edition - Navy Blue color. This is the van of all vans folks. Room for up to 25 Jishwa sized people (or 7 regular), AM/FM stereo with cassette player (8-Track optional), 4 wheel drive, a trailer hitch, and yes, thats right, EMBROIDERED SEATS!!! This thing just screams coolness.
So, if you really want to get the girls, don't bother lookin at the dodge delivery van, check out these wheels. Hey, I drive it, and look at how cool I am!! Umm, wait. Scratch that....
Let me introduce you to the beauty and functionality of the 1993 Extended Ford Aerostar Eddie Bauer
Edition - Navy Blue color. This is the van of all vans folks. Room for up to 25 Jishwa sized people (or 7 regular), AM/FM stereo with cassette player (8-Track optional), 4 wheel drive, a trailer hitch, and yes, thats right, EMBROIDERED SEATS!!! This thing just screams coolness.
So, if you really want to get the girls, don't bother lookin at the dodge delivery van, check out these wheels. Hey, I drive it, and look at how cool I am!! Umm, wait. Scratch that....
OUCH! I gotta go to the hospital for that burn, mind you, I guess I deserve it for my comment about Gi-normous Def.
Dude, I laughed out loud when I read your comment, that's hilarious!
Dude, I laughed out loud when I read your comment, that's hilarious!
Wow jishwa thats a great blog...I was a little worried at first with the title...cause you know why but then you calmed me down that was a good thing...that would be a great YC vehicle...i dont care if its not the best lookin thing...and I like how you mentioned my cake addiction...ohhh guess what it was one of the kids birthdays today and we got cake...yep I like I cake mmmm cake...it was chocolate and had the perfect icing on it and it was colorful the cake was in the shape of a bubblegum machine and it had smarties on it...mmmmmmm...oh sorry I got lost somewhere...anyways thats a pretty hot van...and derek its way cooler then your van...ohhh ouch
I told you.. I told EvErYoNe - the typical way a man looks at a woman, Nicole looks at cake the same way. I just might have to blog about that one day too... it was priceless!
Funniest blog ever.... by the way i get 100pts! It would take too long to write all my comments so just ask the next time we talk! Be blessed and thank-you, i had a not amazing day and it perked me right up!
umm yeah I dont think my obsession with cake would make a good blog...expecially if your gonna tell that story.
lol! nikki, that's great! Alright, I can spare it for your sake... although, it was absolutely grande! And for Dawn? I'm glad it perked your day up, seeing your day perked up by that blog perked me up too, as I have no been in a great mood this evening, but that was encouraging, so it's a big chain reaction I guess. Ill be sure to ask you about why you get points, next time I talk to you, so until then, keep fit and have fun!
WOW! way hot van. i need to see pics of derek's van to truly compare. The pics are what really captures the "beauty" of that creation. Lol. As a side note, I like this blog thing. I feel like I am in your guys' heads. Bizarre place to be, but fun. Perhaps I will make one, that would be a ride and a half....
# posted by 
: 11:38 p.m., March 23, 2006
: 11:38 p.m., March 23, 2006
oh yeah...i forgot to tell yall.... my family had a van that beats all yalls! Ask me about it later...cause descibing it without actions doesn't do it justice!
OH YA!! I remember.. dont call me a newb, ya frick! I always wondered if those two were married.... They sure seemed happy about what they were doing though.. ' keep fit and have fun' lol, that's great....who thought of that??
I dunno. They always seemed like they were having a tad too much fun while getting fit. I mean who smiles like a chesire cat while they're on a treadmill? Me thinks there was a secret ingredient in those 'healthy drinks' of theirs....
I get 100 points (which i personally think i should recieve more for thins) because i raised my hands in the air and screamed "its time for fun".... literally screamed it! lol *throws head back in laughter* mmm... i love it!
1,000 points for doing that Dawn, cos you're the only one.. and for you also being the only one, you can have 1,000 more. Derek, LOL, that's awesome! I like the quotations added on 'healthy drinks'. You guys make blogging so much fun! I could do this all day! And andrea, you can't give yourself that many points... someone has to agree with you on it first. Did I mention that I've been given over 28 billion so far? *gasps* yeah... I guess I'm just THAT good... ;)
excuse me umm Dawn is not the only one who did it...I did the throwing of the hands in the air and said time for fun...so there and connie has been to my blog :(
yeah..lol...it's a little bit warm in here ;) thanks for that, by the way - actually went deeper than you may have thought
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