Thursday, January 18, 2007
3 Thoughts...
It amazes how a single word can mean nothing to one person, or it could mean everything to the next. Depending on what a particular word means to the individual... Depending on what you’ve walked through, how we all take in circumstance, and love. How we give it. How we have recieved it. Or how we haven’t recieved it. The only way we can understand each other is our own way in how we relate to each another. In a sense, we are all alone, but we are still all together. A simple word such as ‘mountain’ can mean nothing more than the amount of room on a page that the word takes up. But for others it can mean vast, huge, enormous, etc. Or it could mean pain, struggle, battle, etc. On the opposite side of the spectrum it could mean victory, overcoming, it could mean journey or remind you of a time in your life you faced something hard. Or it could just mean, ‘a big hill with lots of trees on it!’ Either way...one word has an impact on any given person. It can change the way you feel in a moment.. one, small, tiny word... which leads me to my next thought...
Interestingly enough that reminds me how people relate to one another. How nobody wants to be alone and agian, even what the word ‘alone’ means to you?
It intrigues me that we connect with others in ‘relation’. Relating brings people together and they don’t feel alone. Sometimes it’s healthy, sometimes it’s unhealthy. Of course we all know this, but as think through it, I personally find it fascinating! Don’t we have the people around us that we do because we ‘relate’ to them in some sort of way?
This last thought has nothing to do with the first two, really, but I thought I’d throw it in anyway...I do not have much pain from family or other such circumstances, although there’s probably bondage there I’m caught in that I don’t even know about… or from my past. I find it ironic how much our past determines our future. (If we let it...but some of it, we’ll never catch) Who we are, what we’ve done, what others have done to us, etc. Until we realize we have the power to alter what we do with what happens to us, that’s the way it seems to go. Yet what man (or woman) can truly master that? There’s only been one. I see how the one thing that hinders me and keeps me held and pinned down in my life, is not other people, is not even circumstance or obstalces. It is not death (thanks Jesus) it is not money or rescources, but it is me. It is my own heart, it is my own mind. I need freedom from myself…. I need a savior… from me…
Labels: Misc Thoughts
Monday, January 15, 2007
Garbage Day
A sunset or sunrise holds an element, a characteristic of God in which is so real to me and in those clouds, in that sun, in that sky, I see Him like wind through a prairie; I can see the creation of a King. I can’t help but stare. I’d spend a whole day in that moment if I could freeze it. What you don’t know is the day before, God revealed a dirty, stained, black area in my heart that I never really saw much harm in its existence or realized what it’s effect actually had on me. He called it out; He showed me what I have inside. Ugly things that hurt to hear. Where I’m bound up by fear, by insecurity, where I struggle with wanting control in an area I have no control over at all. Where my struggle is not the issue or sin outwardly, or the people I interact with (Or don’t interact with) but the issue is completely on the inside. Where nobody can see. My love was called forth and I saw it fall short and my trust had landed shorter than I thought or hoped it would. Where I’m pinned down for the count of 3 by my own thoughts, my emotions, by everything rooted in evil and with this revealing, I felt hopeless. Those times where you’re so messed up, where you feel the heaviness and you feel defeated. Nobody can say a word to me in those times that picks me up, that sets free a captive mind. But my Jesus… is never exhausted by my neediness. His love is never thinned by any action I carry out. His words are gentle, His arms are big.. and warm. He graciously gives me the people around me that can handle my issues with a Christ-like love. Those people provided so I am not alone. So I can make it through these ugly issues. There can be pain with God’s love, but the pain is the uprooting of evil. The pain is necessary at times, and a beautiful part of healing. It is not forgotten, nor is it His fault. It is us… and this is a thank-you to a God who loves me (and you!) so much that He’ll call out the garbage in us, that wemight be free and enjoy life the way we're meant to!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Bring Forth the Brand New!
It’s fresh, it’s brand new! 365 days for God to move, of dreams and ideas to birth and journey themselves into reality. I finished off the year of 06 with a sweet break and on Tuesday Jan 2nd was a harsh reality to go back to work feeling the way I did. I actually fell into this year with an internal struggle rather than a sense of freedom and excitement, but once I fought my way (with help, of course) through, the sun is shining and shining bright in the horizon sky just as it has always been there! I have wanted time to look back on 06 and walk through it in my mind and see all what God had done but it truly was an exciting and full year! For me, I believe…is just the beginning! As I asked myself if I was happy with 06 I could smile with the sense of inner peace and say ‘yes’… it truly was the best year I’ve ever had! The people, the quality, the teachings, the mountains, the hills, the valleys, the processes, everything I had learned and experienced, every gift given to me, every circumstance, I did not let 2006 waste away. With the brand new an element we face every day walking with an infinite God, I can now begin to look forward to this year. With 355 days left, there’s much to step forward with! I had thought what I would like to do or see happen this year, which there’s lots I want to do in regards to beginning to chase my own dreams and I’ve submitted it all to God and now it’s time to walk forward and watch it all unfold. New, new, new!
As for the intimate details, I think I’ll keep to myself, but they’re related with music and arts. Stuff on the inside of me I want to begin to chase after. It’s funny, the DC has declarations, which for me, they need to line up biblically, and whether you believe in declaring or not, I can’t deny the power of speaking words out… as I’ve seen the result of it. Positive fruit, I might add. This year is ‘Just Say No! (to fear, doubt and lack.)” When I read that, I had to laugh to myself and I can see God’s hand again in my life as I began this year and some of the changes I know that are coming my way, can be scary from time to time. And I know regardless of any fear over any circumstance I face this year, I’ll need to throw myself at it, with that fear most likely still present, principle being I can’t allow it to stop me from what’s inside of me. So here’s to 2007, make your list, set your goals (NOT resolutions) and see if you can submit yourself to an infinite God, to an abundant life and sit back and enjoy the ride! I’m honored to enjoy life with the people that are around me! My family, Dawn and my friends as well as everyone few and far between! Here we go! This year will be a year to make memories that will last a lifetime. Memories we won’t soon forget!
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