Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Seasons
Seasons
3 definitions that stuck out to me.
-To render competent through trial and experience
-A period of time
-A suitable, natural, or convenient time
Funny how you can never see your own journey at times, yet at other times it's generally easy for someone else to look at you from a distance and see a wider picture than you do. When you're clouded by your own doubt and confussion; your own wonder and expectation; Your own hope and desire for 'something' to just happen; Somewhat fearful because you don't know if it's you that needs to step out or if you simply just need to wait. Where does the line draw for common sense to move forward or faith to wait?
If it is true that a man is fearful and always sub-conciously asking, 'do I have what it takes?' If he struggles with fear, struggles with wanting to 'be someone' of importance; wanting to feel of worth; to feel valuable. To not just be another named to have lived and died under the sun without making an impact in a positive way; Without being another story of failure and discouragement because a life was wasted. What then, shall I do?
An elderly man spoke out and thought that when he gets to heaven, he'll see a large warehouse with it's big, heavy, hangar doors open and he'll see the warehouse 3/4 full of blessings that God wanted to give him, but he never did what he needed to in order to receive them. How sad... but it makes you wonder. Reality check. This man is old and done the majority of his days. I am only 22, not even half over yet - with insight like that, perhaps it's time to move.
How many times do I fail, how many conversations have I blown off, how many times have I backed down, how often have I 'not felt like it' - (whatever that means to you). How have I robbed myself from my own blessing God wanted to bestow upon me? How many people could I have impacted but never had the care to listen or speak because of my own selfishness?
I sure have been seeing a lot of things I've been doing wrong lately and it has almost left me layed out on the ground...weighted and unworthy. Will I ever get it right? It's moments like that, that it's hard to think that I....how can I possibly please the creator of the universe with all this baggage?
When you can't even connect, and constantly try - When you're a leader and feel your relationship merely scratches a surface that has a depth you're completely unaware of. Never give up, keep trying through faith, one day you'll get it. One day it'll click.
From a outword glance, can you smile and say, 'you're human, you make mistakes' and extend grace, but from the inword position, you really feel the weight and definately isn't the same. How often do I sub-conciously think that I need to be holy and pure before God can use me? Where did this mentality even come from? The world would never see grace, mercy and love if we had to be pure before we could serve. Oh, how often do I forget.
I'm thankful that God is bigger than sin - I'm thankful that I can be used in my filth and my corruption. My mindsets, my pharisee heart, my laziness, my lack of due care or attention. My lack of commitment. My lack of speech or boldness when it's needed the most. All the lies that are spoken over me that I accept so easily while I stare at the floor and hopelessly listen. How frustrating it must be... I'm glad I can't exhaust the love of the Father because no one else could certainly bare it.
I feel the weight of being unworthy. Maybe it's humbling me - stripping pride. I hate pride, yet I can feel it in me as well. I really do feel like a broken man. I really am a broken man. Never forget where I brought you from, God says, "Never forget your Egypt."
Always praise, always push, always fight - they battle for you night and day, light and darkness. The least we can do is tell God we love him. The greatest gift I can give is my life, because my life is all I have, and it's technically not even mine.
Seasons...
try to take a step back and see the journey but can't - faith builds, the word says. Looking forward for God to bring me out once I learn what it is I need to learn or see. There truly is no where to go but straight ahead because there's only death behind me and left or right will lead me astray. Focus on the sky, close my eyes, inhale & exhale; smell the beauty, take hold of peace that your life is held in the palm of his hand - just don't stop, just don't quit. Perhaps this is what it means to be living under grace...
3 definitions that stuck out to me.
-To render competent through trial and experience
-A period of time
-A suitable, natural, or convenient time
Funny how you can never see your own journey at times, yet at other times it's generally easy for someone else to look at you from a distance and see a wider picture than you do. When you're clouded by your own doubt and confussion; your own wonder and expectation; Your own hope and desire for 'something' to just happen; Somewhat fearful because you don't know if it's you that needs to step out or if you simply just need to wait. Where does the line draw for common sense to move forward or faith to wait?
If it is true that a man is fearful and always sub-conciously asking, 'do I have what it takes?' If he struggles with fear, struggles with wanting to 'be someone' of importance; wanting to feel of worth; to feel valuable. To not just be another named to have lived and died under the sun without making an impact in a positive way; Without being another story of failure and discouragement because a life was wasted. What then, shall I do?
An elderly man spoke out and thought that when he gets to heaven, he'll see a large warehouse with it's big, heavy, hangar doors open and he'll see the warehouse 3/4 full of blessings that God wanted to give him, but he never did what he needed to in order to receive them. How sad... but it makes you wonder. Reality check. This man is old and done the majority of his days. I am only 22, not even half over yet - with insight like that, perhaps it's time to move.
How many times do I fail, how many conversations have I blown off, how many times have I backed down, how often have I 'not felt like it' - (whatever that means to you). How have I robbed myself from my own blessing God wanted to bestow upon me? How many people could I have impacted but never had the care to listen or speak because of my own selfishness?
I sure have been seeing a lot of things I've been doing wrong lately and it has almost left me layed out on the ground...weighted and unworthy. Will I ever get it right? It's moments like that, that it's hard to think that I....how can I possibly please the creator of the universe with all this baggage?
When you can't even connect, and constantly try - When you're a leader and feel your relationship merely scratches a surface that has a depth you're completely unaware of. Never give up, keep trying through faith, one day you'll get it. One day it'll click.
From a outword glance, can you smile and say, 'you're human, you make mistakes' and extend grace, but from the inword position, you really feel the weight and definately isn't the same. How often do I sub-conciously think that I need to be holy and pure before God can use me? Where did this mentality even come from? The world would never see grace, mercy and love if we had to be pure before we could serve. Oh, how often do I forget.
I'm thankful that God is bigger than sin - I'm thankful that I can be used in my filth and my corruption. My mindsets, my pharisee heart, my laziness, my lack of due care or attention. My lack of commitment. My lack of speech or boldness when it's needed the most. All the lies that are spoken over me that I accept so easily while I stare at the floor and hopelessly listen. How frustrating it must be... I'm glad I can't exhaust the love of the Father because no one else could certainly bare it.
I feel the weight of being unworthy. Maybe it's humbling me - stripping pride. I hate pride, yet I can feel it in me as well. I really do feel like a broken man. I really am a broken man. Never forget where I brought you from, God says, "Never forget your Egypt."
Always praise, always push, always fight - they battle for you night and day, light and darkness. The least we can do is tell God we love him. The greatest gift I can give is my life, because my life is all I have, and it's technically not even mine.
Seasons...
try to take a step back and see the journey but can't - faith builds, the word says. Looking forward for God to bring me out once I learn what it is I need to learn or see. There truly is no where to go but straight ahead because there's only death behind me and left or right will lead me astray. Focus on the sky, close my eyes, inhale & exhale; smell the beauty, take hold of peace that your life is held in the palm of his hand - just don't stop, just don't quit. Perhaps this is what it means to be living under grace...
// posted by JP @ 10:13 a.m. 
Comments:
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mmm grace we all need it...and we are all human...you what my new motto is...I want to live so that you they can live...thats pretty cool it means I want to live with God so that the world doesnt have to die...I want to show them His love it is pretty profound...and yes I am goin to screw up yes I am goin to let people down...I do it every day but I am only human so whatever.
I have and do feel this all the time! One of my fav sayings "You can't help anyone if your dead" Meaning that if we ourselves are sick we can't make anyone else better... its hard, it quite frankly sucks, but God is good... sometimes we just need to have ourselves heal! Grace is beutiful and extended freely! Its crazy how much blessing we COULD have if we listened more... i know its something that i need to continually work on! Great post! Be blessed!
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