JP

Ever since the beginning of time it has been a long, enduring heated debate of who would win between a ninja and a pirate. Some say pirates, some say ninja's. Today is a good day to solve this mystery with true facts that could only express nothing but solid truth. Let's explore shall we?

First off - Pirates

1.)Pirates have bad hygene.
EVer find yourself cringing over their disgusting teeth? Or how about the bad breath, drunkenness, torn & ripped clothes? A true warrior would not be as ugly and smell as bad as a pirate. Yet on the other hand, a pirate is MADE by this foul appearance. mmm... if that won't attract a woman...nothing will...

2.) Pirates DO have some pretty cool stunts
I'm just reminded by Captain Jack Sparrow - pretty much the coolest pirate I've ever known. That guy has crazy pirate skills. Very cool. humorous sword fights, stunts he pulls off without even meaning too - Captain Jack Sparrow is a true pirate. An inspiration among men!

3.) Pirates carry big daggers and funky swords.
Alright. I'm sold on the daggers, knives and swords. That's impressive. They have sweet battles with swords, as they should, because if they didn't have some sort of acrobatic stunts it would be a shame and long pieces of metal aren't that exciting without some other source of action. And what would be cooler than seeing someone get stabbed with a rusted out, dull dagger?(that's a joke...calm down, I'm not really that sick.)

4.) Pirates force people to walk the plank
Now this is always so coolest thing about a pirate! Making someone walk the plank into the ocean while tied up, in the middle of no where, in shark infested waters. Ruthless! I like it! Besides the fact that that is probably one of the WORST feelings in the world, although.. I've... never...really stood on a plank. But I HAVE stood on a diving board and the two circumstances are rather similar!

Next... - Ninja's

Ninja's are by far, the coolest piece of artwork in terms of a death machine created by God... or... the Japanese.. or wherever they came from. Come to think...I don't even know why they had ninja's - they're crazy I guess. Which is pretty sweet.

1.) Stealth
The stealth of a ninja is impeccable. Only Jesus knew when a ninja was near by. (Because Jesus WAS a ninja.) Fact: Chuck Norris nearly learned how to become a true ninja and Mr. T pitty'd the foo.)A ninja is so stealth-like, he would kill you and you'd be walking around for another 5 minutes before you realized you were killed by one.

2.) SWEET clothes
black. unless you're a white ninja, (like Scott) and then you're only good in Canada out in the snow country, otherwise, you're an idiot because you're white...in a dark environment. Jesus said a light on the top of a hill cannot be hidden. And the whole point of ninja's is to not be seen. So just don't be a white ninja in a dark place - there's no use.

3.) Coolest weapons ever!
C'mon! Throwing stars! Sighs, nun chucks, bows, staffs, bamboo stick, flying acrobatics (like new age ninja's that are TOTALLY unrealistic - Hidden Liger, Crotching Dragnon - I hate that movie.) What would be better than seeing a big, sharp, shiny throwing star fly through the air and clip some guy in the neck. The accuracy is astonishing!

4.) Miscellaneous Ninja Facts

A Ninja can kill a man 39,506 ways with a rubber duck.
Ninjas hide in the tiolet and assassinate you at the worse possible moment...
Unlike humans, Ninjas can lick their elbows.
Ninja's have one weakness...they will drop what they are doing and sing along with "Black Betty" anytime it is played. (Does this remind anybody of Kurtis?)
When not engaged in combat, Ninja's collect sea shells.

So you decide which is cooler. I like ninja's because that's up my alley. Stealth. Stealth is cool. Ninja's are suspensful thrillers. Pirates are entertaining action. Make your pick - who do YOU think would win? Would you rather be a pirate or a ninja?

// posted by JP @ 2:34 p.m.