Friday, September 15, 2006
Deedless Faith; a Rotting Corpse
“What would you like me to read anything in particular?”
“James”
*Josh flips to James*
“2”
So…God takes me to read James 2 and I fall upon ‘Faith and Deeds’. …You know what it’s like when a little child is sitting down in a chair, undergoing what seems to be the worst moment in history, progressively getting worse? You’ve just done something wrong and now it’s time for a little chat. Time for a good, stern lecture by mummy or daddy. See like Puss N’ Boots there, you got those big, beady eyes. You’re humbled in that moment, and it’s like I could feel myself slowly slipping further and further down my chair as I read into this ‘faith and deeds’ scripture. Everybody needs a good rebuking, I say!
I felt convicted… in my own personal walk with God I would be confident in saying I have faith that God can do anything, but my faith comes into question when I ask myself if God WILL do it. Yet I full well know there’s nothing He can’t do. Make sense? Yet…when I’m in a situation that allows me to put my so called ‘faith’ into action, I stand to the side and second guess myself with all the well known doubts; “This would be REALLY awkward for me AND that person if I stepped out right now”, “What if it doesn’t work, what if God doesn’t heal?”, “What if this is just me and this isn’t God speaking to me at all?”, “I’ll embarrass myself and it’ll look like God is being mocked”, “What if I look like an absolute retard?” You know the typical and usual thoughts you get; the doubt? It’s in those moments our faith is truly tested. Boldness stepped out the back door and it’s like people are pushing you behind as if you were about to go onto a stage with hundreds of people watching you as well as a big, ridiculously bright spotlight is shinning in your eyes, blinding you and you can’t even see – but you know they’re there. You try every excuse and even physically resist; anything you’ve got, to try and convince them NOT to throw you out there. You want to remain in the shadow and you completely forget about what you stood upon. You completely forgot about that prayer you said in that quiet place, some time ago, “God, use me.”, “God, work through me”. So here He is, to use you, and that faith you claimed you had is challenged and I failed. I’ve failed countless times.
“As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” James 2:26
Ouch. Rub a cheek cos that one stung a bit. The reality of the matter is, it was a heart check for me. I believe God wants to use me in the ways I’m longing to be used. In the ways He’s longing to use me. Yet my deedless faith is holding me back. I couldn’t help but get alone after reading that and repent. I felt convicted. God’s good ol’ conviction. I prayed for boldness, prayed for help that I could step out. I asked for God to help me put my faith into deeds. To prove I have faith. But what I don’t have I can attain through the Father. I prayed for more faith, that I can attain what I need to, to be able to step out and TRUST. I can’t get to that point without Him and He knows this far better than I. This hit home for me, and I think for many of us, especially in this ‘great’ North American culture. Yet I won’t turn this around and question you... this was definitely for me and I felt like sharing. I’m thankful for God’s discipline, for His correction. How beautiful that is, and how He has the grace to give me situations and if I fail, He’s gracious and will teach me and get me to the place He wants me to be and the place I want to be. The place he’s laid in my heart He’s not even angered by my failure or lack of faith. The reality of it is sad though, because someone may have been able to see Jesus if I was only obedient. I was selfish and thought about ‘what am I going to look like?’ Yet, there’s no where to go but straight ahead. God knows the heart, and I believe if the heart is right, God can move freely to bring everything else into place so His will is brought forth. Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go…
// posted by JP @ 12:15 p.m. 
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