JP

A sunset or sunrise holds an element, a characteristic of God in which is so real to me and in those clouds, in that sun, in that sky, I see Him like wind through a prairie; I can see the creation of a King. I can’t help but stare. I’d spend a whole day in that moment if I could freeze it. What you don’t know is the day before, God revealed a dirty, stained, black area in my heart that I never really saw much harm in its existence or realized what it’s effect actually had on me. He called it out; He showed me what I have inside. Ugly things that hurt to hear. Where I’m bound up by fear, by insecurity, where I struggle with wanting control in an area I have no control over at all. Where my struggle is not the issue or sin outwardly, or the people I interact with (Or don’t interact with) but the issue is completely on the inside. Where nobody can see. My love was called forth and I saw it fall short and my trust had landed shorter than I thought or hoped it would. Where I’m pinned down for the count of 3 by my own thoughts, my emotions, by everything rooted in evil and with this revealing, I felt hopeless. Those times where you’re so messed up, where you feel the heaviness and you feel defeated. Nobody can say a word to me in those times that picks me up, that sets free a captive mind. But my Jesus… is never exhausted by my neediness. His love is never thinned by any action I carry out. His words are gentle, His arms are big.. and warm. He graciously gives me the people around me that can handle my issues with a Christ-like love. Those people provided so I am not alone. So I can make it through these ugly issues. There can be pain with God’s love, but the pain is the uprooting of evil. The pain is necessary at times, and a beautiful part of healing. It is not forgotten, nor is it His fault. It is us… and this is a thank-you to a God who loves me (and you!) so much that He’ll call out the garbage in us, that wemight be free and enjoy life the way we're meant to!

// posted by JP @ 5:31 p.m.