Wednesday, September 27, 2006
One Portion; Twenty-four Hours
Stillness of a white, winter day
All is steady; all is quiet
Within the blink of an eye
A shift in the earth
Snow’s rushing down the mountain side
like ocean waves crashing against the rocky shore
It devours, allowing nothing to stand in its way
it is unforgiving
Peace walks out the door into the morning of a brand new day
Sunshine fills the earth; through the trees; a radiant glow
Jump in the car, drive to work
Share the road with a million other rats in a race
Human nature over-rides
Alter your state of mind
foolishness, arrogance
the over cautious are as dangerous as the daring
Drive downhill for the day instead
Can you feel the holes in His hands?
Will you trust the kiss of encouragement?
will the brush sustain you?
Do you trust?
Cut the locks of long hair
Decay in a grave of a rotting corpse
Lost the tug of war
Happy to sad
Peace to frustration
Agitation
All is steady; all is quiet
Within the blink of an eye
A shift in the earth
Snow’s rushing down the mountain side
like ocean waves crashing against the rocky shore
It devours, allowing nothing to stand in its way
it is unforgiving
Peace walks out the door into the morning of a brand new day
Sunshine fills the earth; through the trees; a radiant glow
Jump in the car, drive to work
Share the road with a million other rats in a race
Human nature over-rides
Alter your state of mind
foolishness, arrogance
the over cautious are as dangerous as the daring
Drive downhill for the day instead
Can you feel the holes in His hands?
Will you trust the kiss of encouragement?
will the brush sustain you?
Do you trust?
Cut the locks of long hair
Decay in a grave of a rotting corpse
Lost the tug of war
Happy to sad
Peace to frustration
Agitation
exclamation
Hiking through the mountains, in the wild of the nature; alone
He plans his course; his destination
Trails of doubt reveal themselves
Have you lost your way?
Did you neglect detail?
Question yourself; search inside
She lays on her tear-soaked pillow
He’s not the man he used to be
Where have we gone wrong?
The door is cracked from the day he left
She wonders if he’ll ever come home
Home to his love
Adventurous, wild young hearts
Stride toward a marked out goal
Imagination, anticipation
Then with tainted time
They are jaded and faded
The business man stares out his thirtieth floor window
Look at the world below
Lost in thought
Cars driving, people walking
Thousands upon thousands
Forced to mingle, yet nobody speaks
Yours is yours, mine is mine
A perfect world of strangers
Interrupted thoughts
Time counts down, each second is lost
So much to do, so little time.
Hiking through the mountains, in the wild of the nature; alone
He plans his course; his destination
Trails of doubt reveal themselves
Have you lost your way?
Did you neglect detail?
Question yourself; search inside
She lays on her tear-soaked pillow
He’s not the man he used to be
Where have we gone wrong?
The door is cracked from the day he left
She wonders if he’ll ever come home
Home to his love
Adventurous, wild young hearts
Stride toward a marked out goal
Imagination, anticipation
Then with tainted time
They are jaded and faded
The business man stares out his thirtieth floor window
Look at the world below
Lost in thought
Cars driving, people walking
Thousands upon thousands
Forced to mingle, yet nobody speaks
Yours is yours, mine is mine
A perfect world of strangers
Interrupted thoughts
Time counts down, each second is lost
So much to do, so little time.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Blissful Blooming; Sought-after Treasure
Bathe in the deep ocean of your heart, and reality is soon to follow
Arousing denied access
Shadow the mind
Veil the heart
Tame it; control it
Bloom b - l - i - s - s in its prosperous moment;
In its divine appointment
The mind is a dangerous playground
The mind is beautiful
Arousing denied access
Shadow the mind
Veil the heart
Tame it; control it
Bloom b - l - i - s - s in its prosperous moment;
In its divine appointment
The mind is a dangerous playground
The mind is beautiful
Captivation; control
Victory is the freshly paved road before me
Fully equipped
attainable example
Fill the void of hope of the little ones
possibility is proven
Wisdom will guide,
It will sustain
Question your depth of love
Die to the flesh a painful, glorious death
Time to take hold
Time to stand up
Sacrifice for the pleasure of the Father
For love
for respect
for those whom you do not know
for those who will need to see;
the way its meant to be
Victory is the freshly paved road before me
Fully equipped
attainable example
Fill the void of hope of the little ones
possibility is proven
Wisdom will guide,
It will sustain
Question your depth of love
Die to the flesh a painful, glorious death
Time to take hold
Time to stand up
Sacrifice for the pleasure of the Father
For love
for respect
for those whom you do not know
for those who will need to see;
the way its meant to be
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Proccess to Success
Piece together a broken puzzle
Voices whisper from every direction
Just when you want them to stop,
The loudest one speaks, yet, softly
Try and throw confusion my way
Attempted murder
Tell me I’m not hearing straight; tell me its all lies.
Tell me what truth has ever come from your t-a-i-n-t-e-d lips?
Every spoken word weighs down a soaring soul.
They’ll break off, I’ll run free.
Hold onto truth; onto the faith
Believe in a L O V E beyond very own knowledge
I’ve felt it
Plagued by desire to search and find.
Mention to me the risk; tell me my failures.
For failure is not failure at all.
I t i s now extinct
Process to success
Consequences surface
shut the door with the m o n s t e r behind it
Step out to see if your foot will find solid ground before you plunge
Believe in the unseen
Voices whisper from every direction
Just when you want them to stop,
The loudest one speaks, yet, softly
Try and throw confusion my way
Attempted murder
Tell me I’m not hearing straight; tell me its all lies.
Tell me what truth has ever come from your t-a-i-n-t-e-d lips?
Every spoken word weighs down a soaring soul.
They’ll break off, I’ll run free.
Hold onto truth; onto the faith
Believe in a L O V E beyond very own knowledge
I’ve felt it
Plagued by desire to search and find.
Mention to me the risk; tell me my failures.
For failure is not failure at all.
I t i s now extinct
Process to success
Consequences surface
shut the door with the m o n s t e r behind it
Step out to see if your foot will find solid ground before you plunge
Believe in the unseen
Lead a blind man,
let go of the hand, withdraw all support
let his hands search for yours
whisper, ‘T a k e t h e s t e p.’
Eyes witness trust
‘Where have you gone?’
‘I’m right beside you’
His eyes never left you for one moment;
Your very presence illuminated the smile on His face
like a father watching His baby take his first step.
He delights in you, He delights in me
You cannot mock
you cannot take away
your words will die with you
to your filthy, damned grave.
I refuse your words; I refuse you.
Question the very conversation
you’re not even worth the time it takes
to move the muscles in my body
to turn around and look at you
Eyes straight forward,
I am setup for s u c c e s s
You lie
yet confirm the truth I seek after.
I was not created for defeat.
I move away from you
onward to home
let go of the hand, withdraw all support
let his hands search for yours
whisper, ‘T a k e t h e s t e p.’
Eyes witness trust
‘Where have you gone?’
‘I’m right beside you’
His eyes never left you for one moment;
Your very presence illuminated the smile on His face
like a father watching His baby take his first step.
He delights in you, He delights in me
You cannot mock
you cannot take away
your words will die with you
to your filthy, damned grave.
I refuse your words; I refuse you.
Question the very conversation
you’re not even worth the time it takes
to move the muscles in my body
to turn around and look at you
Eyes straight forward,
I am setup for s u c c e s s
You lie
yet confirm the truth I seek after.
I was not created for defeat.
I move away from you
onward to home
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Sacrifices; Faith Builders
Doubt infects my mind. I battle back and forth, struggling. I feel the weight of a request. “I want to be sure without a doubt it’s you before I make a move”. Yet, sometimes He wants us to take a step without facts or reasoning. Should I obey or turn away? I’m torn between two truths in that moment. I don’t want to hear these words. I don’t want to give THAT up. I’m brought to tears with a request which leads me to a sacrifice I have never made before; my personal treasure. Yet inside my heart, I know there's more than God ‘just testing my obedience.’Sacrifice;
-The surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
-The thing so surrendered or devoted.
I can hear the whisper of a fool, ‘You don’t have to obey God’, ‘nothing is going to happen’. Nothing will happen without faith, that much is true. But if I know God calls, God has His reasons. Either way, He wants to move and I believe that through faith. In finding direction, it would seem that the confirmation I asked for is confirmed by the very attempt of the enemy to discourage and de-rail me. On the other hand, my request of confirmation proves my immaturity in my faith which stings, but hey... it's okay to be me, right where I'm at.
How can I say I want to go further with God; how can I say ‘I want you number one in my life’ and when you test me to see if you ARE number one in my life, I back away because of what I want? I can’t imagine how Abraham felt…who was led to kill his only son, and got all the way up the hill, laid him on the alter and held the knife high and an angel appeared and said ‘stop’. (Genesis 22:1-19) It was a test, and He was willing.
I’m taken back to a point in my life where God asked me to let go of something that I found it extremely hard to let go of. My grip was tight – I thought I had what I wanted. I was so blind and I don’t know why. I ran into a situation so quickly, everything beside me, danger signs on the side of the highway, blurred right past me. I couldn’t see straight. God told me to let go and I had hoped He would give back what He wanted to take. I trusted, finally, after struggling a lot with it, but I gave it up and He never gave THAT back, but He DID give me something back in return, sooner than I thought, and a gift that I never saw coming, a gift I couldn’t have imagined. He has His reasoning, which He doesn’t tell us a lot of the time. He just wants obedience… Afterall, faith pleases God. (Hebrews 11:6)
We know the procedure isn’t always fun or enjoyable. When He operates on the heart, it’s faith that is required to believe He’s doing a good work. The procedure is uncomfortable and can be quite painful for the time being. Yet, when this surgeon is done, the process of pain and agony is worth it. Worth every bit. Because this surgeon doesn’t make mistakes. Romans 8:28 falls into play once more.
How often does God ask us to do something that would result in sacrifice? A sacrifice is clearly something that would cost us something. A true sacrifice wouldn’t be easy to give. This didn’t hit home for me until I felt God ask for something of value of me. Something I strongly desire, yet hesitant to ask Him for His opinion. But I do because I once said, ‘I want to live for you, completely. I want you in every area of my life.” And when you full-well mean it…the time comes to put your money where your mouth is. It’s time for ME to put my money where MY mouth is. When God starts speaking to those areas you’re not so willing to let Him in on. When He starts walking towards them, He tests our true desire. If I can sacrifice what means most to me in life, and give it to God and do as He asks, does that not show Him and myself that I truly love Him and would truly will give up anything for Him because I am devoted?
I am reminded that I am the only thing in life that holds me back from my own blessing, is me. The more I say ‘no’, the more I rob myself from my own blessing. After all, the gift of choice is mine and He loves us far too much to take that away, but my choices today affect my tomorrow.
What do we do if God asks for a sacrifice…a prized, valued and cherished possession…?
Bottom line: He’s a good God, and doesn’t want to ruin our lives. He’s full of compassion and mercy! (James 5:11) His thoughts are far above our own – our minds cannot comprehend the ideas of the Most High. (Isaiah 55:8-9) He’s good and I trust that. I’ve seen that to be true time and time again. He’s setting me up for something; I think it’s safe to say that. Who knows? Why guess what God will do or why He’ll do it? Just hear the voice and listen, whether you like it or not. I can say this though: there’s NO ONE else I’d do this for – that’s for sure… NO ONE…
Friday, September 15, 2006
Deedless Faith; a Rotting Corpse
“What would you like me to read anything in particular?”
“James”
*Josh flips to James*
“2”
So…God takes me to read James 2 and I fall upon ‘Faith and Deeds’. …You know what it’s like when a little child is sitting down in a chair, undergoing what seems to be the worst moment in history, progressively getting worse? You’ve just done something wrong and now it’s time for a little chat. Time for a good, stern lecture by mummy or daddy. See like Puss N’ Boots there, you got those big, beady eyes. You’re humbled in that moment, and it’s like I could feel myself slowly slipping further and further down my chair as I read into this ‘faith and deeds’ scripture. Everybody needs a good rebuking, I say!
I felt convicted… in my own personal walk with God I would be confident in saying I have faith that God can do anything, but my faith comes into question when I ask myself if God WILL do it. Yet I full well know there’s nothing He can’t do. Make sense? Yet…when I’m in a situation that allows me to put my so called ‘faith’ into action, I stand to the side and second guess myself with all the well known doubts; “This would be REALLY awkward for me AND that person if I stepped out right now”, “What if it doesn’t work, what if God doesn’t heal?”, “What if this is just me and this isn’t God speaking to me at all?”, “I’ll embarrass myself and it’ll look like God is being mocked”, “What if I look like an absolute retard?” You know the typical and usual thoughts you get; the doubt? It’s in those moments our faith is truly tested. Boldness stepped out the back door and it’s like people are pushing you behind as if you were about to go onto a stage with hundreds of people watching you as well as a big, ridiculously bright spotlight is shinning in your eyes, blinding you and you can’t even see – but you know they’re there. You try every excuse and even physically resist; anything you’ve got, to try and convince them NOT to throw you out there. You want to remain in the shadow and you completely forget about what you stood upon. You completely forgot about that prayer you said in that quiet place, some time ago, “God, use me.”, “God, work through me”. So here He is, to use you, and that faith you claimed you had is challenged and I failed. I’ve failed countless times.
“As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” James 2:26
Ouch. Rub a cheek cos that one stung a bit. The reality of the matter is, it was a heart check for me. I believe God wants to use me in the ways I’m longing to be used. In the ways He’s longing to use me. Yet my deedless faith is holding me back. I couldn’t help but get alone after reading that and repent. I felt convicted. God’s good ol’ conviction. I prayed for boldness, prayed for help that I could step out. I asked for God to help me put my faith into deeds. To prove I have faith. But what I don’t have I can attain through the Father. I prayed for more faith, that I can attain what I need to, to be able to step out and TRUST. I can’t get to that point without Him and He knows this far better than I. This hit home for me, and I think for many of us, especially in this ‘great’ North American culture. Yet I won’t turn this around and question you... this was definitely for me and I felt like sharing. I’m thankful for God’s discipline, for His correction. How beautiful that is, and how He has the grace to give me situations and if I fail, He’s gracious and will teach me and get me to the place He wants me to be and the place I want to be. The place he’s laid in my heart He’s not even angered by my failure or lack of faith. The reality of it is sad though, because someone may have been able to see Jesus if I was only obedient. I was selfish and thought about ‘what am I going to look like?’ Yet, there’s no where to go but straight ahead. God knows the heart, and I believe if the heart is right, God can move freely to bring everything else into place so His will is brought forth. Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go…
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Victoriously Setup for Victory!
I have an idea to ponder; a thought to share…
We people can count on certain events taking place in life, mostly on a day to day basis. We can expect to feel happiness, excitement, joy, & pleasures of all kinds. We can expect to feel despair, anger, sadness and pain, on the other hand, as well. Life is a mix match of emotions and experiences. Could you imagine all of the emotions of every single person all across the globe – If for one second, time froze and all those emotions could be captured for one moment? Overwhelming… yet there’s someone who can handle it all and doesn’t even require one moment for rest.
Truth is, life is great to me, even with all the garbage. Judge me, shun me, hate me, love me for the blessing over my life, besides the fact that you’re really not so different from me... are you? Thought: If I can just look past the garbage in life; if I can just see the bigger picture… I can pull anything and everything from a bad situation to make it 'good', should I choose to accept it. If “the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4) is true, then my theory or attitude, should be sustained should it not? See, regardless of what you or I believe, if the bible stands as ‘truth’ (and it most certainly does) then regardless of my mood being good or bad, truth still remains and therefore my attitude is the only thing that shifts if I rely and stand strong on my known truth - The word of God.
Truth: “For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. (1 John 5:4-5)
I really will overcome anything and everything that comes my way because Jesus said I could. If He overcame the world and lives in me, I can overcome anything and everything because He did for me already. SO profound! I really can live life, be happy – be truly happy, have fun, enjoy it, and when the rough times are there, I can take courage and faith and I can soak up everything good from those ‘bad’ experiences and apply them to my life that I might have more wisdom, experience and insight. That my attitude aside from what God can do, (and will do) can change the outcome of any given situation, completely. That out of those situations, I may help someone else down the road with what I’ve been through. That I might share my life. Just the fact of the idea alone of what I can bring out of a bad situation, changes the outcome before it’s ever happened.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
We, as God’s children are setup for victory, day to day, moment for moment. Hard times come? Yes, it says they will, and we know they will, but when they do, it’s our choice to stand on truth and to walk through with an attitude of victory, even if we don’t feel victorious – we will be. If we just choose to be victorious first. I speak even unto myself, and in those times I might even have to look back on this and read it for myself, apply and stand on scripture when all else seems to be failing or falling apart. When my vision is clouded. Yet has God’s word ever depreciated? Has it ever been broken? It’s a rock to stand on that we know will never crack or be moved. Nobody’s touchin’ this thing and we can lean on that forever. “Yeah, but you don’t know what I’m going through…” please… I’m human, I face my own trials, I’m no more of a mortal being than you are – don’t tell me I don’t know what it’s like to feel pain, don’t tell me I don’t know what it’s like to want to give up – to feel numb from everything and everyone around you. Been there, done that. I stand on my truth, and I’ll die with that it if I have to.
Brothers and sisters, take courage, push on forward, whether you’re rejoicing for today or wishing today was over and hoping for a better tomorrow, it is only a season and will not last forever and YOU are meant to overcome! You have been setup for victory! The last factor lies within you – and your choice to stand or be altered by emotion and a circumstance.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Transition 101
Soooo it has been an interesting week for moi. I could write an entire blog about being sick but I think I’ll spare you…. To make a long story short, I went to the doctors office again for a visit, which turned out sending me to get my blood taken, and an ultra sound (no, I’m not pregnant, don’t worry about it) and it turns out, I have mono, but not JUST mono.. the worst case he’s seen in 10 years! Yay for me! The good ol’ kissing disease.. so that means I shouldn’t share a drink with anyone anymore… and I guess the secrets out.. I kissed her okay?! It’s true! I have been blessed though, because I don’t think this has really been as bad as it could’ve been…I remember reading a blog Dawn had written some time ago, about all the little things that make life great. I do have to agree that the little things in life really do so much more than the big things. We are so blessed in this country with the health care system we have. God wanted me to appreciate that I think, and I sure do, and I only got a taste of it, but I’m thankful for people who actually cared about my situation. I’m thankful for all the crap these nurses/doctors, etc have to go through just to deal with the public that might not even care about them and/or their sacrifices. To deal with people that might never be appreciative for what they have done just to help them but I tell you, I sure am! (hear my heart… not everyone will be unthankful, but they’re out there) I’m thankful I can visit the doctor, use their expensive machines, have people help me that actually know what they’re doing, take up their time, get blood tests and never have to bring out my wallet to pay a cent. Alberta Health Care takes care of that and I just pay what I would deem as a small amount, every 3 months. I’m totally fine with that! Thank you Jesus for this blessing!
I got a lot of thoughts/realizations these past 2 weeks and had some good conversations with God as well! He really does want to have conversations with us on a daily basis! It’s great! You sure feel closer! I got to experience an entire evening last night in utter peace. It was beautiful!
I am seeing some of my friends who seem dead, are beginning to move an arm or a leg and I am excited and moved! I’m beginning to get excited for what God will do this fall! I’m so thankful for God, who is in control of all things - when all can sometimes seem to fail or fall around you, when you feel like you’ve got nothing to look forward to, you can just praise God for how good He is, despite your situation; despite what happens to you. That you can just taste how good He is and know better is on the way because He is a God of new! It’s not like summer is over and God is sayin, ‘sorry kids, that’s all I had, you’ll have to suck up these next 4 months until I can think of something better.’ No, He’s far better than that!
I’m excited to learn more about God this fall and winter, and to practice what I learn and I get to love on people! I get to let God teach me how to be a better leader, a better friend, teach me how to love people better, teach me how to sacrifice, teach me how to be a better follower! Show me on the road of being a bond servant, just how that’s done. Getting my heart where He needs it to be before He can take me where He wants me to go! I’m excited for God to move in those lives that are closest to me, and I’ll pray and support them! Excited to see God move in ministries and just all over, in this town and every other town Christians are willing to say ‘yes Lord!’ Wherever they are saying ‘yes’, is where God is going to move! So I want to be a part of it and not sit on the sidelines! This is the pathway to the abundant life in which we do not deserve, but have access to through Jesus’ brutal death which at times, I forget, and others I stop to re-live it and let his death sink in and it still blows me away (as it rightfully should). Brothers and sisters, march forward into what God has for YOU this last leg of 2006 - what will you do to make it memorable? Because for me, this really has been the best year of my life, and I can honestly say that. The best part is, my life is just getting started!! It will only get better from here! Even with anything ‘bad’ that happens, I’ll recite Romans 8:28 to the grave – we can’t fail!! Yes, it does feel SO good to be a part of the winning team! Let it be so!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Isn't Mickey SO cute?!
So the long weekend has arrived! *praise God!* This week hasn’t actually been all that bad now that I look back on it…it DID have it’s rough moments though, don’t get me wrong. The hardest days are over and I’m definitely glad about that. I’ve had my challenges, ups and downs though.. wow… that transition we (ENR Staff 06) talked about during Staff Debrief didn’t really hit me until Sunday evening - Monday morning, in which was by far, the worst feeling I’ve felt/day I’ve had, in a long time. But I knew it would pass and that brought a little amount of peace. But some, nonetheless.
God’s been speaking to me all week, being gentle, loving on me, letting me feel His grace and peace in a moment here or a moment there. Encouraging me all throughout this most interesting process and I’m really blessed by that! Thanks dad!
So I just happen to be takin’ off to Sherwood Park for the long weekend to go see Dawn and her family. Yes yes, I know, you’re saying, “you’re going already??? That’s lame” … Well… I’ll have you know that first off, it’s a LONG weekend – hello?¿? Give yer head a shake! Need I say more about that?! Secondly, everything that could make both of us busy is starting within the next 2 weeks so yuh just never know when you can visit next… Call me a suck, but I’ll take what I can when it comes to ‘time’. I know that anyone in a relationship (that they actually loved being in) wouldn’t blame me, so if the singles do, I really couldn’t care any less! =:D (I say that with the biggest, most uncompassionate smile I’ve got, lol!) (because it’s true…)
If anyone has any exciting weekend plans, post em in my comments. If I can’t read them before I leave, I can always see what you did when I get back! Anyways, keep fit, and have fun!
P.S. and while your at it, give 3 cheers for hives! Am I serious? Heck yes, I am! Seriously, go for it, scream it as loud as you can – I will, but I’m at work in the back and for the front guys to hear 3 cheers from the back would be a little weird, loud and obnoxious… ooooooohhhhh I should do it! I will in the car on the way up – I’ll entertain my angels. Anyways, as you read it… GO!!
*Hip, hip, HORRAY! Hip, hip, HORRAY! Hip, hip, HORRAY!*
And for the last tid bit of information I’ve got, I say this;
If you’re healthy, praise God for it… and if you're not? Praise him anyway! Seriously, because that’s the only reason why you’re not sick. Besides, God wants you to talk to em’ anyway, so go ahead, say thanks! Some of you readers probably haven’t talked to Him in a long time too, I bet. Try it! It’s really not that hard!
Be blessed guys! ...I know I will be ;)
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