JP

How is it we can have can hope for someone else’s circumstance, yet have no hope for ourselves?
How is it we can love others but cannot love ourselves?
How often are we so lost and wrapped up in the element of our own mind, our own reality, our ‘world’, that we forget about those principles we claim we want to live our lives by?
I hate feeling so contained in my actions, in my thoughts, in my heart. The heart wants to move towards a goal, my body wants to move away from the goal. How funny it is to suffer from yourself, a mix match of your own desires, the Godly or ungodly, there’s a cost either way.
How often does one feel like quitting because of what they lack?
How often are we frustrated by what we cannot do compared to what we CAN do?
How often do we compare ourselves to someone who is exceedingly better?
How often do we compare ourselves to someone who is exceedingly WORSE?
How frustrating it is to hear the thoughts in the mind and it feels like you can never rid them, and when you do, it’s not long before they come back?
If our battles in life are primarily spiritual, my secondary, more than anything, is not quarrel with people, but quarrel with myself, in my mind.
How often does hope fade? How often do I forget the power of God?
How often are we weighted and heavy? What do we carry that we foolishly won’t give up for one reason or another?
Why am I so selfish?

Why do I lay in my bed at night in the darkness with tears streaming down my face, trying not to be heard by anybody, crying out to God for help, telling him what my I truly desire, but it seems like no matter what I do, I cannot achieve the goals before me?
How often do we trap ourselves within our own confusion?
How often do we imprison ourselves?
How often do we withhold encouragement from each other? A simple word can change a life forever.
How foolish, lost and broken we are on our own?
How often I hate being human – yet…how often I just want to be.
Sometimes I don’t want to be strong, sometimes I don’t want to fight anymore, strength is gone. Sometimes I just want to let go and feel light as air. To be held instead of hold. Held by a King. Be lifted up in a golden field, high in the sky, arms out wide, eyes closed, warmth on my face, serenaded by the warm wind
Can I just be raw? Can I just be real? Can I just be see-through without looking like I’m giving up?
How often do you feel the pressure to do what you don’t have the strength do to?
How often do you feel the pressure to be who you’re not meant to be?
I cannot understand the love of God and I’ve walked underneath it my entire life.
How often do we see a gapping hole in the ground and have the curiosity to seek it out, only to find that we cannot get back up?
There’s a difference between stumbling and walking into your own mess – how often do you willfully walk into a dead hole?
How does one defeat a struggle they so desperately want to beat?
How is a process enjoyable? How does one not underestimate the power of the journey.
Why are we so discontent?

I don’t understand how corruption is beautiful in your eyes
I don’t understand why you’d want this when it fails you so frequently
I don’t understand why you send love when I send rejection
I don’t understand why I don’t do what I know I need to do
Choice is yours, but we are easily persuaded
I don’t understand why I run from you when I need you the most
I don’t understand why I’m so hard on myself yet not that hard on others
Grace isn’t always so hard to extend, but when it’s me, grace is close to extinction
With so much to do, and so many places to make mistakes, one almost doesn’t even want to stand up off the ground
Oh how fear stops us from attaining what we truly want
Pull me out of the hopelessness
How is it that I want a rest from you when you are rest... when you provide it? How foolish of me
I run from your comfort to the comfort or someone else’s, but not to spite you.
I cannot do what I want to do, I cannot achieve goals I want to achieve
I cannot step out when I’m longing to do so
Meant to use gifts I know are inside me, not necessarily read yet, but they’re there. Yet when I’m the environment to use them I am silenced. They feel insignificant. Powerless. Potential seems to have departed.

Walk along a narrow path with infinite matters to divert your attention and pull you off track. It seems impossible to advance with the odds resting so highly in the favor of death
How often we struggle, look at each other with a smile on our faces while our hearts inside are on the brink of bursting into tears
We ask each other ‘how are you’ but how many truly care? And if they did, would you know?
It’s hard to look forward with hope when all evil, discouragement and filth fill the air, completely cloud over the vision of the beautiful view I once had. Yet not all hope is gone, but faded. The sun never steps shinning, even on a cloudy day. Don’t ever forget the sun never stops shinning. Darkness comes and goes, but light will always be.
In a world so full of despair it’s hard to see clearly, it’s hard to hold on, but it can be done, even with the fragile amount of faith, hope and love that we do have…
Forgive me for my lack of faith, forgive me for my doubt, forgive me for condemning your beautiful creations…

// posted by JP @ 1:05 p.m. 3 Comments

Heello! I just want people to not feel like they need to encourage me in the comment section on this, everything's okay! I promise! I just didn't want someone to pour themselves out while everything's all good and I don't feel a 'need' for encouragement.. does that make sense? Just trust me, everything's good! I just had a rough afternoon one day and I know other people feel like this at times - so just enjoy!

Why does it seem that we are alone?
If this is your way, why has it taken so long to release?
Raise a question
Per-pose an answer
How can I deny healthy fruit from a discolored tree?

For the moment my rock is missing
Face the simple truth
We are all corrupt – our vision is tainted
I’m left in the middle of a park
Nobody else around
I just got off the merry-go-round and
I don’t feel so merry

Question the belief
Question the ground you stand on
Question everything you ever knew as ‘right’
Question what you do and why you do it

Challenge the health of your belief
How solid you will stand once the storm has passed and you know

Should I run from imperfection?
Shall I not look at the fruit?
Is there this much religion in the world, we rise amongst ourselves?
Is it wrong in life to ‘do well’?
Am I really that distorted from what ‘truth’ is all about?
Is joy an illusion?
Is it really unattainable?
Are you speaking life or death over me?

Will you follow what you knew?
You’ve been challenged in your thinking,
In your direction; in your motive
In your experience
How can revelation be defined?
I am no fool.
Can I be so bold or daring?
As to challenge with the words, ‘watch me’?
I’ll go before you, I’ll test the waters
I am not afraid of its temperature

If I see distortion among many
Who am I to believe that I am any different?

How do I use an analytical mind?
Is simplicity the answer?
Complexity confuses
Can you not put your trust in the hands of the Almighty
to not lead you into the hands of deception and mental imprisonment?

Does my hunger not lead to your feet?
Do these challenges not contradict your written word?
Do I lack the wisdom?
It is unclear; trust and respect gives way
What is wisdom in your eyes?
Shall I heed or flee the spoken words?
My thoughts dive into the depth of my own mind.
Discernment has vanished

There is only one who can see clearly.
In Him I place my trust not to lead me to forsaken lands.
“There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end, leads to death”
May I never again be an example of death
I will push onward towards my King,
For His word says the seeker will find.
I will find, I will stand firm and hold on,
I will push forward and may no man bring me down,
Regardless of his or her beliefs.
My God reigns – end of story
Some truths cannot be shaken

// posted by JP @ 3:40 p.m. 2 Comments